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Id Joke Categories Author Voting Actions
18 What's the difference between roadkill and a dead chav?



Roadkill has skid marks in front of it.
Jokes with no home > Chickens

Score: 267
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22 Why did Hitler commit suicide?



He got the gas bill.
Illness and Mortality > Suicide
Other > History
Celebrities > Historical Figures
Author: We Are The Lemon
Date: Thu, 25 Jan 2007 15:31:42 +0000
Up: 601.4
Down: 94.0
Up: 859
Down: 130
Score: 1,284
View
72 When's bedtime at Michael Jackson's house?



When the big hand touches the little hand.
In The News > Celebrity Death
Sex and Shit > Paedophile
Author: JossDude
Date: Thu, 14 Jun 2007 13:59:54 +0100
Up: 111.2
Down: 24.0
Up: 152
Down: 40
Score: 511.2
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76 I was at a cash machine when an old lady came up to me and asked to check her balance.



So I pushed her over!!

Illness and mortality > Old people

Score: -3
View
86 What would it take to reunite "The Beatles"?



Two bullets.
Celebrities > Band/Group

Author: JossDude
Date: Thu, 14 Jun 2007 14:07:07 +0100
Up: 96.8
Down: 14.0
Up: 116
Down: 22
Score: -9
View
92 Why did Paul McCartney marry Heather Mills?



Because she went down on one knee.
Celebrities > Heather Mills
Celebrities > Paul McCartney
Sex and shit > Marriage
Score: 1043
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95 What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and Pope John-Paul II?



The Pope died a virgin.

Celebrity and news events > Madeleine McCann

Score: 18309
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114 Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in a Nova a shame?

A Nova seats 4



Why is it a shame to see 4 chavs going over the edge of a cliff in a nova?

There's always room in the boot.
Racism > Chav

Author: Ciabi
Date: Thu, 14 Jun 2007 14:40:07 +0100
Up: 79.2
Down: 18.6
Up: 112
Down: 25
Score: 609.2
View
117 What's blue and fucks old ladies?



Me in my lucky blue coat.
Sex and shit > Sick

Score: -5
View
121 A guy goes to the pub, and says to his friend, "you won't believe what happened. I was taking a short cut along the railway track, and I found a girl tied to it. I untied her, and then we had sex over and over again, all the positions, everything."



His friend replies, "That's great! Did you get a blow job?"



"No, I never found her head."
Sex and shit > Necrophilia

Score: 216
View
123 What do you do with a Jew with ADHD?



Put him in a concentration camp.
Illness and Mortality > ADHD
Racism > Jew
Author: caliban
Date: Thu, 14 Jun 2007 14:53:07 +0100
Up: 256.4
Down: 31.2
Up: 350
Down: 60
Score: 2,078.8
View
174 What's purple, hard, 18 inches long and makes women scream in the night?



Cot death.


View
175 A guy goes to the pub, and says to his friend, "you won't believe what happened. I was taking a short cut along the railway track, and I found a girl tied to it. I untied her, and then we had sex over and over again, all the positions, everything."



His friend replies, "That's great! Did you get a blow job?"



"No, I never found her head!!!"
Sex and shit > Necrophilia

Score: -8
View
180 What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?



Nothing, the bitch has already been told twice.



View
188 Why did Princess Diana cross the road?



She wasn't wearing her seatbelt.
Celebrities > Princess Diana

Author: caliban
Date: Thu, 14 Jun 2007 19:12:11 +0100
Up: 209.2
Down: 11.2
Up: 258
Down: 20
Score: 1,495.4
View
194 Why do Jewish fathers have their sons circumcised?



They know Jewish women can't resist anything with 10% off!


View
206 A pub landlord is shutting up for the night when there is a knock at the door. When he answers, a Tramp asks him for a tooth-pick. He gives him the toothpick and the tramp goes off.



A few minutes later there is a second knock. When he answers, there is a second Tramp who also asks for a toothpick. He gets his toothpick and off he goes.



There is a third knock at the door, and a third Tramp. The landlord says, "Don't tell me, you want a toothpick too."



"No, a straw," says the Tramp.



The landlord gives him a straw but is curious as to why he wants it, so he asks the Tramp why he wants a straw and not a toothpick.



To which the Tramp replies, "Some bloke just threw up outside but all the good stuff's gone already".
Other > Homeless

Author: funkyfrog
Date: Thu, 14 Jun 2007 20:42:37 +0000
Up: 858.4
Down: 282.6
Up: 1172
Down: 385
Score: 6,580.2
View
217 What's black, has eight legs and makes women scream?



Gang rape.


View
232 What's pink and smells of holly?



Ian Huntley's cock.
In The News > Shootings

Author: caliban
Date: Fri, 15 Jun 2007 01:33:32 +0100
Up: 54.0
Down: 12.4
Up: 62
Down: 18
Score: 618
View
242 What's the difference between a yellow lamborghini and a dead hooker with cum in her eyes, mouth, arse, and ears?



I don't have a yellow lamborghini in my garage.
Illness and mortality > Dead Hookers

Score: 2765
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